The Mosh Chronicles

Totally blank
A hammer just blew me away
I thought I was losing my mind
Somebody kicked my head
Ouch!
Blaming my own self
My own self
My own self
Myself, Nobody else

For my worst nightmare are about a

sinking world and falling skies with

screaming frightened people

running and crying for help but

helpless...

I can only stare and my mouth shut

awaiting the flood to pull me away...

And the bubbles burst as I awake...

What is this?

i'm down with the game.

playin' left and right

did u catched my drift?

I noticed the sudden changes,

did u feared?

i won't chase you, so no need to run.

and when you are ready,

we'll meet up, same time, same place.

it's just gonna be a different game.

I know.

Bleed, I bled inside, and I, I
I cry, I cry outside, the dull ugly side
The break of dawn, innocence is born
So I’ll be gone, in a flash of light
Done, what have been sum, summoned
Sun, can’t see no more, faith so cold.
Core, inside a core, please open the door
A helpless sorrow, can’t see no more
I’ll blow the wind for you, my one and only you.
The wind blows me down on the ground
Fall, fallen asleep, so deep inside a sleep
A long long sleep, beats counting sheeps
And awake to a new nightmare, take care.
So real, so real, so ugly real, unbelievably real
Reality, don’t come near me, I sunk too deep.
Don’t try to see me, I hate to see you...
Hesitation out of this…

You’re dead
It’s dark
Can’t move, can’t see
It’s moist, there’s pain
Six-feet under, can’t reach
What are you waiting for?
When?
Who?
Arghh..but no one hears you!

Future? My existence and decisions made has already created a chain reactions around the world …believe it or not! Changing other existence and effecting other decisions including my future decisions and being. The significance of my life is always there…either I’ve made good or created troubles in other life…

I feel trapped. The feeling of knowing what I want, but could not reach it. One man says, “In life there are three things. First, knowing what you want. Second, to know how to get it. And lastly, to do it!” I know what I want or wants, but the how is quite blur…so how to do it? Unresolved for now…keep on looking, I might find it…I wish.

“...oh how I wish I was a catfish. Swimming in the deep blue sea, and I want you sweet lady fishing after me…” Jimi Hendrix. Catfish Blues from Voodoo Soup album.

Question on my mind, the journey of life “How to expect the unexpected?” Regrets, sorrow, down and empty…lost and lonely…hopeless…clueless…could care less!

I wonder if only there would be no challenges or obstacles in my pursue of wealth. And not only monetary but everything…health, time, love, kindness, knowledge etc etc. Would I appreciate it more…or these challenges and obstacles is the price I should pay to get the wealth, the learning experience…the knowledge gaps to fill…How much more do I have to pay? How much have I paid? It’s painful…and the only thing that kept me going is the responsibility and the vision of rewards and recognitions. My time will come…not this time yet I guess…no retreat, no surrender…no remorse no repent…no regrets!

I asked myself…always…almost everyday “Do I have the power to change?” The answer will be followed by the next question “Who gave me the power?”Harggh…end of this topic! I don’t want to think about this for now…brain shutdown.

Yesterday, something crossed my mind. I thought, “ what if I got only six months to live?” Hmm…maybe that is a scary thought…but as of yesterday, I felt…well O.K, maybe the next six months will be the best six months of my life…or the best days of my entire life on this earth! Maybe I will be a lot happier, more productive, treating people well and well treat by the people around me. To know time is already set. The time has come!